And if THAT didn't work...here's more!
The Truth About Gehenna or How the World Ended for the Antediluvians
Cast (in order of disappearance)
Haqim
Ventrue
Lasombra
Small Ball of Cheese
Nosferatu
Masked Avenger #1
Tzimisce
Masked Avenger #3
Spirits of Those Who Have Died Tragically
Masked Avenger #2
Set
Brujah
Malkav
Arikel
Augustus
Ennoia
Ravnos
Tremere
?Awright Haqim! I have HAD it with you! You?re gonna die!?
?Says you. Phbbbt!?
?Oh, yeah? Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames! I blow up Asia!?
?Celerity 10. I dodge. I?m now standing in the middle of the ocean.?
?Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune?s Might. I boil the oceans.?
?Obfuscate 10. What ocean??
?Thaumaturgy 10, Movement of the Mind. I hit the remaining ocean with the moon.?
?Tag in! Obtenebration 9. What moon??
?Auspex 10. THAT moon.?
?Tag out!?
?Oh crap. Umm? Quietus 10.?
?Here comes the big ball of rock, baby!?
is squished
?Didn?t Haqim just activate Quietus 10??
?And it was a surprisingly quiet squishing. Stupid discipline.?
?Lasombra??
?Tag, um, Tzimisce!?
?Vicissitude 10. Try that moon trick now, spellboy.?
?Tag Ventrue!?
?Dominate 10. Who?s your daddy??
?You?re my daddy.?
?Tag in! Potence 10. Feel the pain!?
?Fortitude 10! What pain??
?Obtenebration 10! I hope you like small, dark, places.?
?Frag.?
vanishes
?I have ALWAYS wanted to do that.?
?Vicissitude 10. Lasombra, you?re now a small ball of cheese.?
?WHY??
?Ventrue still calls the shots. Read Dominate 10.?
?Darn, he?s right.?
?Animalism 10. Horde of cheese-eating mice.?
?Obtenebration 10. I am a shadow of a small ball of cheese.?
?Tag Tremere!?
?Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. Shadow of fondue, you mean.?
goes fwoosh
?Animalism 10. They?re MY horde of mice.?
?Animalism 10. Mine.?
?Mine!?
?Gimmie!?
?Celerity 10 AND Potence 10. I crush Tzimisce and Nosferatu while they?re still arguing about the mice.?
?Urk.? dies
?Urk.? Reforms ?Love that Vicissitude 10.?
?Oh, dearie.?
?Now the mice are MINE!?
appears from nowhere ?All of you shall die for consorting with our enemies! Or, in some cases, actually being our enemies.?
?Who the heck are YOU??
?Oh, sorry. I?m early.? vanishes
?Not even the first Masked Avenger, whoever he was, can stop me!?
?Auspex 10. What CAN stop someone with Vicissitude 10? Oh, diablerie.?
?Thaumaturgy something or other. I weaken Arikel a generation.?
?You just made that up!?
?Trust me, you?ll like it.?
?Potence 10. I expend a barrage of fisticuffs upon Tzimisce.?
?Vicissitude 10. I can ignore them.?
?Animalism 10. My mice.?
?Mine!?
?Quick, Arikel! Diablerize Tzimisce while he?s distracted!?
?Necromancy 10, Bone Path! The dead have risen ? and they?re voting Republican!?
?Don?t you guys EVER stop worrying about temporal power??
?Umm. No.?
?Dementation 10! Everyone goes absolutely crazy!?
pause
pause lengths
?You feel any different, Ennoia??
?Nope. You??
?Nope. Tremere??
?Nope.?
?Me neither.?
?Nobody asked you.?
?Well, THAT was a non-starter.?
?Well, I *gurgle*??
dropping diablerized corpse of
?I sure feel different!?
?Well, that settles it. My mice.?
?I now have Animalism 10. Mine!?
?CATFIGHT!?
?Mousefight, actually.?
?How droll.?
?Thaumaturgy 10, Hands of Destruction. I kill the freakin? mice, already.?
?Waaahhh!?
?Zombie mice!?
?Bastards.?
,
, and
appear
?Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked Avengers!?
?Especially you, Tremere!?
?No, especially YOU, Augustus!?
?Tremere!?
?Augustus!?
?Who ARE you guys, anyway??
?It?s a secret. That?s why we?re wearing masks.?
?Speaking of which, why does your mask have three eyeholes??
?To be distinctive.?
?Doesn?t that kind of defeat the purpose of wearing a mask??
?You always were a smart alek.?
?Potence 10. I punch the first Masked Avenger.?
?Ow.? dies
?We other Masked Avengers are not so easily thwarted! We shall have our revenge! Especially on you, Augustus!?
?Tremere!?
?Augustus!?
?Can we get rid of these guys??
?Sure you take care of the guy with the three eyeholes in his mask, and I?ll take the guy who says he?s my archenemy.?
?I, with the three eyes, am your archenemy, Tremere.?
?Whatever.?
?Potence 10. I crush the guy with the three eyes.?
?Fortitude 10. I soak.?
?Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. I obliterate Masked Avenger #2.?
?Fortitude 10. I soak.?
?Like the guest that won?t leave, aren?t they??
?I can handle this. Necromancy 10, Ash Path. I summon the spirits of those who have died tragically.?
?We are here.?
?Explain your tragedies to the Masked Avengers.?
do so
?Oh, the Angst! I cannot BEAR it!? commits suicide
?How fascinating. I wish to learn more.?
?Spirits of those who have died tragically, return to the Shadowlands.?
do so
?I must follow them to learn more.? commits suicide
?Well, THAT took forever. But now it?s done. Now what??
?Auspex 10 and Thaumaturgy 10, Lure of Flames. I incinerate Set in that corner he?s been hiding.?
turns to ashes
?Letting everyone else do the fighting and taking out the winners? I am shocked, SHOCKED.?
?Shocked that you didn?t think of it first.?
?And I DEEPLY deplore that.?
appears ?Prepare to meet final death at the hands of the Masked Avenger!?
?You ever have the feeling of d?j? vu??
?Constantly.?
?Enough of this. Protean 10. Welcome to the sun, boys!?
?Hah! Thaumaturgy 10, Invulnerable Weakness!?
goes fwoosh
goes fwoosh
goes fwoosh
goes fwoosh
?Hah! You?ve played perfectly into my master plan! No, wait.? goes fwoosh
?Thaumaturgy 10, Neptune?s Might. I extinguish Ennoia.?
goes fwoosh
?Woo hoo, I won!?
?Forgot me.?
?You? Where the heck have you been??
?Keeping a low profile.?
?And you didn?t burn up in the sun??
?Fortitude 10, baby. And I?ll thank you not to kill off my mice.?
?PREPARE TO DIE!?
?Not so fast! Chimeristry 10!?
?Chimeristry 10? You mean??
?Yup. Reality. I?ll turn us all into a roleplaying game.?
?You wouldn?t!?
?I just did.?
?NOOOOOOOO!!!?
,
, and the corpses of the other antediluvians are replaced by a series of hardback and paperback game supplements
THE END