Pulled these off of GameFAQs. Revel in the awsomeness of Han Solo.

15. ?I?ve got a bad feeling about this.?

When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously

Had Han Solo been the only character to speak this line in the entire
series, it definitely would have been much higher on the list. In reality,
sadly, the line is present in every single Star Wars film, thus downplaying
its importance as a method of character development, instead turning it into
a device that allows George Lucas to wink at the audience. It?s a cute line,
but it?s not distinctly Han Solo.

14. ?Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright
now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you??
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up

Granted, this is a Star Wars quote which will almost immediately get
recognized as a Star Wars quote -- hopefully, you?ll never find yourself in
a real life situation where you have to use the term ?weapons malfunction.?
Still, though, if you?ve got to go through the typically banal ?wait, you?re
breaking up ? can you hear me?? conversation with a friend over your phone,
why not throw in a Han Solo quote for good measure? Pretty much everything
Harrison Ford says in the series is gold ? in everyday life, one should
always be searching for methods, no matter how forced, to speak the words of
Han Solo.

13. ?No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.?

When to say it: When working on a project with a partner

This particular quote won?t make you look particularly cool or Han Solo-ish,
but if you use this quote on someone and they recognize it as what Han yells
to Chewie at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, marry them. Immediately.
Doesn?t matter what gender they are.

12. ?Great, kid. Don?t get cocky.?

When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something

As much as you like your friends, you can?t give them too much credit:
genuine enthusiasm from one friend to another is generally a trait only
shared by women, and Han Solo is decidedly not a woman (in fact, his penis
could probably break concrete). You can only use this line (or lines like
it) for only so long towards your friends ? one must be careful to stay in
the realm of ?lovable ass? and not crossover into ?outright ass?
territory. You want your friends to stay your friends, regardless of how
much you may want to mock their accomplishments.

11. ?Never tell me the odds!?
When to say it: When gambling

If anything, a decision to not know the odds when gambling seems like
lunacy. Logic would dictate that if you bet on a boxing match, you?d damn
well better know the spread, right? Well, not if you want to look like a
bad-ass, you don?t. Refusing to hear the odds when gambling is so blatant a
mistake, so obvious a screw-up, that the other gamblers around you will have
no choice but to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish by
insulating yourself from the odds. Some of the more nervous men, influenced
by your steadfast refusal to play by the rules, may change their bets. Their
changed bets will influence others to change bets, and, before you know it,
your one line of Han Solo dialogue has completely reversed the spread. And
if, by chance, your boxer of choice should actually win, then you will be
viewed as a gambling prodigy ? a man with an unconventional, unbeatable
system who knows exactly what he is doing. And as is the case with so many
of these Han quotes, seeming to know what you?re doing is a lot more
important than actually knowing what you?re doing.

10. ?Yeah, I?ll bet you have.?

When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he?s been
waiting a long time to bring you in

But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage
to ?dodge? his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look
nowhere near as cool as if you?d just taken the initiative and blasted the
son of a ***** before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would
even consider not having Han shoot first?


9. ?Here?s where the fun begins.?

When to say it: When you?re about to enter a dangerous situation

The purposes of this quote are twofold: firstly, it gives a greater sense of
gravitas to whatever situation you are about to undertake. Even if it?s
something as simple as getting called to your boss?s office, or taking an
off-road shortcut on the way home, this quote alone will make the event seem
much more dramatic and cool. Secondly, having made the event seem much
cooler and more dangerous than it actually is, this quote will make the
speaker seem that much more skilled, self-assured and bad-ass in the context
of the event.

8. ?You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.?

When to say it: Anytime

This is pretty much the catch-all arrogant wise-ass phrase to use whenever
you do something worthy of congratulation. And if you consider yourself an
arrogant wise-ass, then everything you do is worthy of congratulation.

7. ?What an incredible smell you?ve discovered!?

When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful

When showing disgust, one has to show repulsion and righteous indignation
without seeming like a complete and utter pansy, which is where this quote
comes into play. Han is obviously not happy that Leia convinced him to jump
down a garbage chute, but at the same time, he?s not running around, whining
and crying over the fact that he?s knee-deep in human fecal matter. The
?incredible smell? line serves as the perfect balance of arrogant irritation
and bad-ass indifference to use when someone lets out a particularly
gruesome fart.

6. ?Laugh it up, fuzzball.?

When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you

Again: not outright whiny and confrontational, but this line lets everyone
know that you mean business and that you?re tired of their crap. Nobody
would dare ignore an insult as unconventional-yet-harsh as ?fuzzball,? but
they also wouldn?t start a fight over it.

5. ?Wonderful girl. Either I?m going to kill her, or I?m beginning to like
her.?

When to say it: When talking about a woman you?re attracted to

It?s okay to show attraction to a woman, but not unqualified attraction.
It?s okay to show that you would very much like to date a girl you?ve just
met, but only so long as you remember to state that you don?t really like
her that much. Guys who show unqualified attraction to potential mates
usually end up as the schmoes who get screwed over when push comes to shove
(?push,? in this case, being a synonym for ?woman,? while ?shove? is a
synonym for ?musician?). Not to mention that if the girl hears you use this
line, her curiosity will be piqued: why does he like me? Why does he want to
kill me? Such curiosity will lead her to talk to you more frequently in a
teasing attempt to get you to reveal what you really think about her. So
long as you never reveal the truth, the teasing will make way for flirting,
and the flirting will more than likely make way for astounding amounts of
unprotected sex.

4. ?How we doin???

?Same as always.?

?That bad, huh??

When to say it: When asking someone about their day
Ah, world-weariness. The idea that you?ve seen everything, done everything
and had sex with everything, and yet you still consider life to be generally
disappointing and awful. When using a quote like this, people will wonder
why you?re so world-weary, and, if you don?t tell them, you?ll seem to have
some sort of dark and mysterious past that you never talk about, despite the
reality that you spent most of your childhood eating Cheetos and watching
Thundercats. Is there a more wonderfully cynical, yet strangely attractive
worldview to have? I think not.

3. ?I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make
me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no
mystical energy field controls my destiny.?
When to say it: During a debate on religion

It doesn?t matter if you actually believe in God; you have to use this quote
in a debate on religion. It?s specific and useful enough to not necessarily
seem like a Star Wars quote, and it?s got just the right amount of
pseudo-philosophy and world-weary ranting to make you seem infinitely cooler
than the other person in the debate. Yeah, you?ve been around. You?ve seen
the world. You know what it has to offer. And, you know what? None of it
impresses you. You are in charge of your life. God? Psh. Who needs him?
Granted, after the debate is done you may need to go home and pray for
twenty straight minutes as a method of apologizing to your deity of choice,
but the important thing is that, to the guy you argued against, you look
like a total bad-ass who remains completely unafraid of Jehovah?s wrath.

2. ?Hey?it?s me!?

When to say it: When someone tells you to ?be careful?

Who are they to doubt you? Hey, it?s you! If you weren?t the careful, clever
guy you were, you?d be dead by now. You don?t need expressions of worry ?
you?re too cool for that. Admittedly, right after Han says this in ROTJ he
steps on a twig and alerts every stormtrooper in the vicinity to his
presence, but ignore that for now.

1. ?I love you.?

?I know.?

When to say it: Duh

If you use this line at least once in your lifetime, you can die a happy
man. It is the epitome of everything Han Solo stands for: cocky and bad-ass,
yet sincere. It?s rumored that George Lucas (though he didn?t direct Empire
Strikes Back, or even write its screenplay) wanted Han to tell Leia that he
?loved her too,? but Harrison Ford demanded that the current version of the
line we all adore so very much. Solo?s final line to Leia before getting carbonite-frozen is, bar-none, the greatest moment in the entire Star
Wars saga.

Not to mention that if you use this line on a woman who is legitimately
expressing love for you, it will drive her nuts. If there?s one thing women
love ? other than musicians ? it?s having strong feelings for someone who
doesn?t reciprocate them (especially if the person in question is a
musician). If you respond to ?I love you? with ?I love you, too,? you?re
essentially begging the woman to lose interest in you. Making an arrogant,
not-quite reciprocation of that love that hints at possible affection
without outright stating it is the most intelligent thing you can possibly
do; it keeps the mystery up, it keeps you in control and you keep your
dignity intact.

Han Solo knows this. That?s why he?s Han Solo.

Is it bad that I could EVERY sense those quotes happened in?

Still, total WIN!