::giggles:: Ask Chris about that song sometime!

^_^

Lady Senie

"He raged at the world, at his family, at his life.
But mostly he just raged."
-Raging Goblin


"The enemy has been destroyed, sir. So has the forest,
the city, your palace, your dog . . ."
-Obliterate


Gotta love Magic Cards. XD

"By the powers vested in me by people who don't know any better..."
~Bonkers D. Bobcat

"Sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five it's fantastic !"
? Woody Allen.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either."
? Joseph Fischer.

"I see a horsey, and a piggy, an' a-"
"If you don't shut up, you'll see a kidney and a spleeny."
- Some MtG card or another.

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.
--Buddha

It is disconcerting to reflect on the number of students we have flunked in chemistry for not knowing what we later found to be untrue.
--quoted in Robert L. Weber, Science With a Smile (1992)

In this bussiness we all dance with the devil, i just like to do it with a loaded weapon behind my back
-- Matt Good

You'd be suprised how often i got, "You're the guy in the Matthew Good Band video, aren't you?"
-- Matt Good

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
- Kahlil Gibran

You can't order courage out of a catalogue. You just have to fake it as you go along. Nobody can tell the difference between great courage and great acting, and the results are exactly the same.
-Anonymous

I once had an epiphany like that. And then I beat someone mercilessly until it went away.
- Teir Ansazi, Gene Rodenberry's Andromada

A diamond is a chunk of coal that was made beautiful and valuable under pressure.
-Anonymous

"Cameron's so uptight you could stick a piece of coal up his ass, and inside a week you' have a diamond."
- Ferris Bueller.

Do you think it's dead?

-Rocco from Boondock Saints, asking if the cat he just accidently pasted on the wall with a 9mm. handgun

Caffeine: creative lighter fluid.
--unknown

Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint. However, lucky for you, I happen to be a quack.
--Richter cartoon caption

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
--Alex Levine

"You know, if you keep trying to pick up my girlfriend I will hurt you. I will hurt you in cruel and unusual ways, ways that have been lost to humans for thousands of years, but rediscovered by me because of inconsiderate pricks like you." Then with a reaaaaaally scary smile "Just thought you should know!"

Reaya Romanova after a few drinks when some guy tries to pick up her girlfriend Kaitlyn.

Seagoon: A polar bear, oh no it's coming right for us!

Bloodnock: shoot seagoon shoot!!

Eccles: (BANG!) OK i've shot seagoon now what?
-- the goon show

absolute classic stupidity and funnieness

oh yeah and by the way fiss, your quote about the weasels in jet engines on ur site was by david brent from the office.

"Poly=Many Ticks=Bloodsucking creatures. It makes perfect sense now!"

NEWS BROADCAST:
Archaeologists have recently discovered a missing page of the bible. We are still not sure of exactly what it means but they have given us a rough translation:
To my darling angela

All persons, situations and events in this book are completely fictuatious and any resemblance to actual persons living or dead, or to actual events is entirely coincidential.

Copyright 01 B.C. Jesus H. Christ.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be publicly reproduced or transmitted by any means vocal or otherwise. without the prior permission of the author.

Ahhh, I love Red-Dwarf.

A conversation between Squee, Goblin Nabob and Mirri, Cat Warrior from the green enchantment card Aluren.

My turn...(words in brackets are the card names)

"Battle is our religion. This fortress is our temple." - Latulla, Keldon Overseer (Citadel of Pain)

"The Viashivan understand that cruelty arises from opportunity." (Viashivan Dragon)

"Mon. - Fri. 9:00 AM - 8:00 PM. Pacific (206) 624-0933." (The Ultimate Nightmare of Wizards of the Coast Customer Service)

"And they said it wasn't a 'hostile takeover.'" (Wrath of Hasbro)

"That's what it's all about." (Knight of the Hokey Pokey)

I'll probably do some more Magic quotes when I feel like it. By the way, my signature is a Magic quote. Guess which one.

Just needed to do one more...

"And the ignorant shall fall to the squirrels." - Chip 2:54 (Squirrel Farm)

"I busted a gut coming up here."
"Look, if it makes you feel any better, the blues are 50 cents, reds a dollar, and whites 5 bucks."
"Deal me in."
-M*A*S*H

"I'm not going out there without a bullet proof couch"
-Sidney, M*A*S*H (same episode)

"Is anyone eating these (sandwiches)?"
"Anybody with a death wish"
-M*A*S*H (again same episode)

"I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world. First I lose my sight then I get it back"
-Hawkeye, M*A*S*H (different episode)


"WE ARE THE KNIGHTS WHO SAY NI!!! WE DEMAND A SHRUBBERY!!!"
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I am a shrubber, Roger the shrubber."
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"ONE... TWO... FIVE!!!"
"THREE SIR!!!"
"RIGHT. THREE!!!"
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail

"I jump...from roof to roof...and get free cable...for my friends... (it's bad ass)"

-ninja of the night



"Everybody come back to my house, and we'll go swimming in my pool. And by swimming pool I mean bathtub, and by swimming, I mean SEX!"

-JFK, Cone High.


"AAAHHHH! CAMOMILE!"

-Scangrade, Clone High.


"HOO HAW!"
-Thundercles.

These are actually quotes that were said in my classes. Some of them to the professors.

"So, I kinda hate to ask this, but does that make the Spartans communist hut jumping sex fiends?"
--M. McCann on Rousseau's Discourse on the Origins of Inequality

"So, the pillow, being soft, has red hair!"
--J. Wilk on the theory of the Ether

"So you're saying that with sufficient speed you could turn water into wood....or gold perhaps?"
--S. Closs on Descarte's theory of matter

"Nature is getting in the way of my physics!"
--S. Valles

"Greg, how do district court judges get to office (btw, this isn't me)?"
"Uhh, they drive?"

I love in-class quotes...



"Yes...WHO looks like a Manatee!?"
-Andrew tunes in, finally.

"....Am I intense?"
-P.James, halfway through color theory.

"This is the sexiest thing ever. And this is how you can make it even sexier."
-Graeme Morris discusses high definition light rigs.

this is the same teacher:

"The Mongols killed the women and raped the horses."

Same teacher, on a overhead

"Ivan (the Terrible), you've been a bad boy. Why?"

Random Kid in class: "I kidnapped William Shatner in a paintball game once."

My friend Tom:"I am Tom. Your own personal opiate."
funkyhair316: "Foogyosity: the state of being foogy. which i think is somewhere near kansas."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
-Napoleon Bonaparte

"I thought she was going to chop me up into little pieces and serve me to the poor."

Prof. Mark: "Abraham should have quoted Cartman (re: the sacrifice): 'Screw you guys, I'm going home.' South Park is a work of religious genius! There's hidden religious meanings all over the place in that show."

Mark: "Sure. King David was handsome, a great warrior, charismatic...a tough Justin Timerlake."

Mark: "Solomon had 300 wives. They got a steak dinner. And 1,000 concubines. They got McDonalds and a romp."

Me: "There's nothing like learning about Genesis by listening to the J. Geils Band."

Mark: "When somebody slaps you in the face, you don't say 'Oh. Ow. Why did you do that?' No. You say, 'You son of a bitch!' and slap them back."

Mark: "Rome couldn't exactly say 'You go your way, we'll go ours...Let's have lunch sometime.' Now could they?"

Mark: "Hey you like Ben Affleck, don't you? (To some random girl) It's okay, he's cute. Damn J.Lo! She ruined our chances!" (He's totally straight, too.) Of course, that was before the infamous break-up.

Mark: "You know the phrase, 'absent minded professor'? Alzheimers sets in at 31 sometimes..."

Mark: (on becoming a rabbi)"I wouldn't want to be tied to a pulpit. I'd much rather be a professional heretic."

In class quotes are great...

"Good morning. In less than an hour aircraft from here will join others from around the world and you will be launching the largest aireal battle in the history of mankind. Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interest. Perhaps its fate that today is the fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live, to exist. And should we win the day, the fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday. But the day when the world declared in one voice, we will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" Independence Day

I must have seen the movie a million times but that speech still makes me proud to be a human being. Why can't our government get these speech writers.

"Hello boys. I'm back!" Independence Day

"SPOOON!" The Tick

For every evil,
there is a greater good.

For every innocent,
there is a protector.

For ever legend,
there is a hero.

The Mark of the Kri

"The past is buried for good reason." (Viashino Heretic)

"I like goblins. They make funny little popping sounds when they die." - Braids, dementia summoner (Skirk Prospector)

"After their first encounter, the goblins named him Chuck." (Bloodshot Cyclops)

"Amazing thing, gravity. It seems to work every time." - Telim'Tor (Razor Pendulum)