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Words of wisdom.... http://war.studioshinnyo.com/warforum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1621 |
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Author: | Binky [ Sat May 14, 2005 7:43 pm ] |
Post subject: | Words of wisdom.... |
In the days coming up to the wedding of Fiss and Senie, does anyone have a little tidbit of advice for the couple? Here's my little contribution: Senie: You already know this, but I think it needs to be stressed. Don't let him eat chowder EVER! I know the true horrors that his ass can unleash on the world after a bit of chowder.... Fiss: Don't get her mad. She's scary when she's mad. *hides from the senie-assassins* |
Author: | -B- [ Sat May 14, 2005 8:05 pm ] |
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Don't stop dating each other. I'll say that again: don't stop dating. If nothing else, it's fun. |
Author: | Anony-mouse [ Sat May 14, 2005 8:12 pm ] |
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Keep three months salary in savings. |
Author: | Christopher Fiss [ Sat May 14, 2005 8:31 pm ] |
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<takes down notes> ^_^ |
Author: | Daemon [ Sat May 14, 2005 9:15 pm ] |
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For God's sake, listen when the other person talks. ;_; Don't cut them off because that will piss off anyone. If a man ever tries to talk to a woman(wife), and she doesn't say anything, even if she says nothing is wrong, something is wrong. Men must learn to identify the womens' mood by the unspoken cues. If a woman says something to a man, and he doesn't say anything, he didn't hear her. Women must learn to get the mens' attention before speaking. Be nice. All the time. I know the "be nice" part is easy, but the "all the time" part is hard like a teenage boy in the womens' locker room. Senie and Fiss, you two will be around eachother all the time and for a very, very long time. Tempers will flare no matter what you try to do, but if you can master being nice even when you're angry, you'll be in for a smoother (though not as smooth as a baby's bottom) ride. I live with my sister and her husband, at the moment. They've been married for almost twelve years. These things are important. Communication is a biggie. Everyone says "we know how to communicate", but they never do know it all. |
Author: | Tozetre [ Sat May 14, 2005 10:17 pm ] |
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Pay attention to nonverbal signals during sex. After the initial "OMG SEX" thrill wears off, the physical expression of love requires more than thrusting to keep being an hnest expression of intimacy. Also, read the Bible together and pray together every morning. That usualy does more in the long run than good sex. |
Author: | Anony-mouse [ Sat May 14, 2005 10:26 pm ] |
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...Or you could learn Tantric, so you can pray while having sex. ^_^ |
Author: | Tozetre [ Sat May 14, 2005 10:52 pm ] |
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Christian tradition, man. Tantric's not kosher. Though, now that I consider it, sex and prayer aren't mutually exclusive. |
Author: | Anony-mouse [ Sun May 15, 2005 12:08 am ] |
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"Lord, bless this meal..." |
Author: | Spike [ Sun May 15, 2005 12:59 am ] |
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*cough* anyway. (who'd have thought Toze would be the one to bring up sex?) My grandmother passed this to us on the day of my sister's wedding and reiterated it when i visited her later that year. she and my grandfather dated for ten years. they knew from the start that they were meant for one another, and they were married for 51 loving years until his death. that's fifty-one, for you AOL users. she told me: Grandma Reinsch wrote: The secret to staying together forever is that every day, you must look the other person in the eye and say "I love you." and every day, you must mean it. Not just believe it, but think of a reason. Sarah and I practice this. "I love you because you put up with my total lack of social skills" "I love you because you don't mind that my ass is bony" "I love you because you let me touch your boobies." Whatever. but mean it. every day. May you have 51 three times over together, my brother, and may you die surrounded by pudgy great-grandchildren. |
Author: | Tozetre [ Sun May 15, 2005 8:57 am ] |
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great-grandchillun with SOUL. "Hey, dat be granpa Fiss!" "Les' kick him!" |
Author: | Christopher Fiss [ Sun May 15, 2005 1:35 pm ] |
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Grandpa Fiss will have swords, and lots of sugar to bribe his young grand-chillun.. |
Author: | DraxelBethlehem [ Sun May 15, 2005 2:51 pm ] |
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<slams the door with a paniced face at hearing of the Fissy legions> Quick! Bolt the doors! Sheild the windows! They've come for our CAFFINE!!!! |
Author: | liuzerus87 [ Sun May 15, 2005 6:58 pm ] |
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I guess Fiss will create his legions of Ni's. Just with bodies... |
Author: | Anony-mouse [ Sun May 15, 2005 7:18 pm ] |
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Let's wait and see what Senie has to say about that. ^_^ |
Author: | Daemon [ Sun May 15, 2005 7:37 pm ] |
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I think this would only become an issue if one of them tries to name them all names that start with "Ni", like "Nick" or "Niel" (realizing, of course, that "Neil" is probably the proper spelling). |
Author: | Anony-mouse [ Sun May 15, 2005 8:05 pm ] |
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NIA (1) f Welsh Welsh form of NIAMH NIA (2) f African Possibly means "purpose" in Swahili. NIALL m Irish, Scottish Original Gaelic spelling of NEIL NIAMH f Irish, Irish Mythology Means "bright" in Irish... [more] NIBORI m Japanese Means "rising to eminence" in Japanese. NIC m English Short form of NICHOLAS or DOMINIC NICCOL? m Italian Italian form of NICHOLAS... [more] NICHJO m Esperanto Esperanto pet form of NICHOLAS NICHOL m Scottish Variant of NICOL NICHOLA f English Feminine form of NICHOLAS NICHOLAS m English, French From the Greek name Nikolaos which meant "victory of the people" from Greek nike "victory" and laos "people"... [more] NICHOLE f English Variant of NICOLE NICK m English Short form of NICHOLAS NICKOLAS m English Variant of NICHOLAS NICKOLAUS m German German form of NICHOLAS NICKY m & f English Pet form of NICHOLAS or VERONICA NICO m Italian Italian short form of NICHOLAS or NICODEMUS NICOD?ME m French French form of NICODEMUS NICODEMO m Italian, Spanish, Portuguese Italian, Spanish and Portuguese form of NICODEMUS NICODEMUS m Biblical, English From the Greek name Nikodemos which meant "victory of the people" from Greek nike "victory" and demos "the people"... [more] NICOL m Scottish Scottish form of NICHOLAS... [more] NICOLA (1) m Italian Italian form of NICHOLAS NICOLA (2) f English Latinate feminine form of NICHOLAS NICOLAE m Romanian Romanian form of NICHOLAS NICOLAO m Spanish Spanish form of NICHOLAS NICOLAOS m Greek Variant transliteration of NIKOLAOS NICOL?S m Spanish Spanish form of NICHOLAS NICOLAS m French French form of NICHOLAS NICOLASA f Spanish Spanish feminine form of NICHOLAS NICOLAU m Portuguese, Galician Portuguese and Galician form of NICHOLAS NICOLE f French, English French feminine form of NICHOLAS, commonly used in the English-speaking world. NICOLETA f Romanian Romanian feminine form of NICHOLAS NICOLETTA f Italian Latinate feminine pet form of NICHOLAS NICOLETTE f French French feminine pet form of NICHOLAS NICOLINA f English Pet form of NICOLA (2) NICOL? m Italian Italian form of NICHOLAS NICOMEDO m Italian Italian form of NIKOMEDES NICOSTRATO m Italian Italian form of NIKOSTRATOS NICU m Romanian Pet form of NICOLAE NICUSOR m Romanian Pet form of NICOLAE NIDIA f English Variant of NYDIA NIELS (1) m Danish Danish form of NICHOLAS... [more] NIELS (2) m Dutch Dutch short form of CORNELIUS NIEVE f Spanish Variant of NIEVES NIEVES f Spanish Means "snows" in Spanish, derived from the title of the Virgin Mary Nuestra Senora de las Nieves meaning "Our Lady of the Snows". NIGEL m English From Nigellus, a Latinized form of NEIL... [more] NIGELIA f English Feminine form of NIGEL NIGELLA f English Feminine form of NIGEL NIILO m Finnish Finnish form of NICHOLAS NIINA f Finnish Pet form of ANNA NIKANDROS m Ancient Greek Means "victory of a man" from the Greek elements nike "victory" and andros "of a man"... [more] NIKE f Greek Mythology, Ancient Greek Means "victory" in Greek... [more] NIKEPHOROS m & f Ancient Greek Means "carrying victory" from Greek nike "victory" and phorein "to carry, to bear"... [more] NIKHIL m Indian Means "whole, entire" in Sanskrit. NIKHILA f Indian Feminine form of NIKHIL NIKIAS m Ancient Greek Derived from Greek nike meaning "victory"... [more] NIKIFOR m Russian, Bulgarian Russian and Bulgarian form of NIKEPHOROS NIKITA m Russian Russian form of the Greek name Aniketos (see ANICETUS). NIKKI f English Pet form of NICOLE or NICOLA (2) NIKKOLE f English (Modern) Variant of NICOLE NIKLAS m Swedish Swedish form of NICHOLAS NIKLAUS m German German form of NICHOLAS NIKO m Finnish Finnish form of NICHOLAS NIKODEMOS m Ancient Greek, Greek Original Greek form of NICODEMUS NIKODIM m Russian Russian form of NICODEMUS NIKOLA m Serbian, Croatian, Hungarian, Basque Serbian, Croatian, Hungarian and Basque form of NICHOLAS NIKOLAAS m Dutch Dutch form of NICHOLAS NIKOLAI m Russian, Bulgarian Russian and Bulgarian form of NICHOLAS... [more] NIKOLAJ m Danish, Slovene Danish and Slovene form of NICHOLAS NIKOLAO m Esperanto Esperanto form of NICHOLAS NIKOLAOS m Ancient Greek, Greek Original Greek form of NICHOLAS NIKOLAS m English, Greek Variant of NICHOLAS NIKOLAUS m German German form of NICHOLAS NIKOLE f English Variant of NICOLE NIKOLETA f Greek Greek feminine form of NICHOLAS NIKOLETT f Hungarian Hungarian feminine form of NICHOLAS NIKOLINA f Bulgarian Bulgarian feminine form of NICHOLAS NIKOMACHOS m Ancient Greek Means "battle of victory" from Greek nike "victory" and mache "battle". NIKOMEDES m Ancient Greek Means "to think of victory", derived from Greek nike "victory" and medesthai "to think"... [more] NIKON m Ancient Greek Derived from Greek nikan meaning "to be victorious". NIKOSTRATOS m Ancient Greek Means "army of victory" from Greek nike "victory" and stratos "army"... [more] NILA f Indian Means "dark blue" in Sanskrit. NILDA f Spanish, Portuguese Short form of BRUNILDA NILES m English Form of NEIL NILOFER f Iranian Means "water-lily" in Persian. NILOOFAR f Iranian Variant of NILOFER NILOUFAR f Iranian Variant of NILOFER NILS m Swedish, Norwegian Swedish and Norwegian form of NICHOLAS NIMA m Arabic Means "blessing" in Arabic. NIMBUS m English (Modern) Recently coined name meaning "rain cloud" or "halo" in Latin. NIMROD m Biblical Meaning unknown, possibly of Babylonian origin or possibly meaning "rebel" in Hebrew... [more] NIMUE f Welsh Mythology Meaning unknown... [more] NINA (1) f Russian, English, German, French Short form of names that end in nina... [more] NINA (2) f Near Eastern Mythology Means "enclosure of fish" in Babylonian... [more] NINA (3) f Native American Means "fire" in Quechua. NINEL f Russian Reversal of the name Lenin... [more] NINETTE f French Pet form of NINA (1) NING f & m Chinese Means "peace, rest, tranquility" in Chinese. NINIAN m Scottish, Irish Meaning unknown, perhaps a Latinized form of the Welsh name Nynnyaw... [more] NINO m Italian Short form of GIANNINO and other names ending in nino. NINON f French French pet form of ANNE NIOCL?S m Irish Irish form of NICHOLAS NIR m Jewish Means "plowed field" in Hebrew. NIRVANA f English Modern name coined from the Sanskrit word for the final state of bliss. NISHANT m Indian Possibly means "dawn" from Sanskrit. NISSA f Jewish Means "sign" in Hebrew. NITA f English Short form of names ending in nita... [more] NITIN m Indian Possibly means "ethical" or "right path" in Sanskrit. NITYA f Indian Means "always, eternal" in Sanskrit. NIU f Chinese Means "girl" in Chinese. NIVEK m English (Modern) The name KEVIN spelled backwards. NIVEN m Scottish Anglicized form of NAOMH?N NIZAR m Arabic Perhaps from Arabic nazir "to be little". NIZHONI f Native American Means "beautiful" in Navajo. |
Author: | Kerrus [ Mon May 16, 2005 9:42 am ] |
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wow though it may be easy to see things as they are, take the time to sit down and think about everything. It is too easy to become used to the way of life and drift along. i know. keep on dreaming, no matter what. dreams are part of what make us human. |
Author: | Christopher Fiss [ Mon May 16, 2005 8:46 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
[theological 'bantering' edited because I don't want a thread about my upcoming wedding turning into stupid] Alright. Since not many here actually are married and have families, how about a show of hands? Who's married / immdiate family just got married/etc? |
Author: | Daemon [ Mon May 16, 2005 9:12 pm ] |
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Does living with a married couple and being able to be a direct observer count? |
Author: | Christopher Fiss [ Mon May 16, 2005 9:16 pm ] |
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Whatever works. ^_^ I was just curious. Not saying you can't make a point otherwise. |
Author: | Michael J Doyle [ Tue May 17, 2005 6:43 am ] |
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<Raises hand> One wife, no kids (yet), no exes... |
Author: | Michael J Doyle [ Wed May 18, 2005 9:49 am ] |
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Well, after thinking it over a bit, I'm afraid I don't have any "words of wisdom" in stock. I can share a mistake or two we made... BIG ONE: you're marrying the whole person. Each of you is bringing everything you are into this - including your hangups, idiosyncracies, and baggage. F'r'instance, Kitty is more emotionally oriented and open; I'm more intellectually oriented and controlled. That made the inevitable conflicts more difficult, and we frankly had a rough time figuring out what was really going on, and it was damn rough going for a while. Eventually, we realized that we each of us had to learn to accomodate the other while we worked out what was going on. (And she deserves rather a bit more credit than I do on working it out...) It's that ole debbil, Communication, again... If you remember that you love each other, AND you remember that neither one of you is either a saint or a devil, AND you cut an appropriate amount of slack for each other while the two of you work on whatever's posing the problem - you'll get better at each other. |
Author: | Daemon [ Wed May 18, 2005 10:09 am ] |
Post subject: | |
So, I was at a young adults class, yesterday, and they kept going on about how you should share your faults with others because it helps to share the burden... but they also said it requires a lot of trust because you're leaving yourself open to emotional hurt. Now, this last concept is alien to me; I can share almost anything with anyone and it is impossible for them to emotionally damage me. It occurs to me, now, that people other than me are not merely sensetive, but super-sensitive to criticism on their faults. I can see this causing a lot of problems in a marriage as, living with the person all of the time, they will know your faults without you having to tell them. Normally, I'd hope you trust them enough for this to be fine, given that you married them, but it also occurs to me that you didn't actively allow for them to know your faults. In the young adults class I went to, only three people there were not married or dating someone present, and I was the only one unconcerned with this concept. The initial claim that comes to mind is people arguing "Marriage is the declaration that they are allowed to know" but it really isn't. I've seen a dozen marriages where this has not been true by default. It takes active work - hard work - to make this claim true, and it requires both parties to deaden their emotions to criticism of their faults. Note this isn't saying "they shouldn't work on thier faults" but rather "they shouldn't get angry or upset when someone criticizes their faults." Right, also: Trap: "Does this <bleh> make me look fat?" Escape1: "Nothing in the world could make you look fat." Escape2: "That <bleh> looks good on you." Escape3: "People like you make people like me look fat." |
Author: | Michael J Doyle [ Wed May 18, 2005 10:49 am ] |
Post subject: | |
Daemon wrote: ...The initial claim that comes to mind is people arguing "Marriage is the declaration that they are allowed to know" but it really isn't. I've seen a dozen marriages where this has not been true by default. It takes active work - hard work - to make this claim true, and it requires both parties to deaden their emotions to criticism of their faults. Note this isn't saying "they shouldn't work on thier faults" but rather "they shouldn't get angry or upset when someone criticizes their faults."... Almost got it in one. But, I'd revise and extend a bit. We don't "deaden" our emotions, exactly; we don't allow a passing emotion to override our true feelings towards each other, but we don't pretend that the passing emotion doesn't exist, either. To break down the extremes: Allowing a negative feeling (exasperation, for instance; i.e., "There he/she goes again, dammit...") to override your core feelings ("I love him/her, dammit...") tempts you to say things without respecting your Other Half (which destroys everything immediately). I compare that to a hazardous waste spill. OTOH, pretending it doesn't exist is burying it, which will silently, inevitably, corrode your core feelings and gradually make your marriage unliveable. I compare this to a hazardous waste dump (a la Love Canal). The pshrinks and counselors call it, "non-judgemental reporting". I call it, "Telling the truth without stepping on her Heart while you tell it..." And that's the core of what I've been trying to say - tell her the truth about what you feel without stepping on her Heart. And, yeah, it takes a helluva lot of work to get it right, you betcha. But, I'm here to tell you, the payoff is worth the effort... |
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