(This is what comes of the marriage of dystopian fiction and the Hindu caste system...Part 1 of 3. If people are interested, I'll post the rest.)

??????????? I woke up as soon as the sun reached over the horizon, languidly stretching its limbs like some great beast awoken from its slumber.
??????????? For all I knew, it was.
??????????? The place where I live is squalid?not even fit for a Polluted One, really.? The brand on my right hand says that I?m part of the worker caste, though, and I?m no one to challenge birthright.
??????????? I stand, and carefully reposition the sheets on my bed to match the position they were in before I climbed under them?I don?t exactly make the bed, that would take time, effort, and a reason, none of which I have.
??????????? I have school to go to.? If I am late for school, I?ll be punished, and I?ll be late for work.? If I?m late for work, I?ll be punished, and I won?t be able to buy any bread for dinner.
??????????? It?s a sort of cycle that I live in.
??????????? It?s the cycle perpetuated by the Machine of Nisiyranj.
?
?Two Days Hence
??
??????????? Angelina Tyrell stepped out into the alleyway that was her main route into the building and out of it.? She had to make sure none of the vagrants or Goddites saw her, or at least where she lived.
??????????? The Enforcers of the Soldier Caste were waging a constant war against them, not five city blocks from where she stood at that moment.? The smoke from the fires reached upwards, as if clawing at the sky in some vain attempt to attack a God that wasn?t there.? The voices carried, like the sound of a storm.
??????????? She tightened the black robe that marked her as a student, and shouldered the drawstring bag that carried her books.
??????????? The robe was supposed to come down to the top of her shins, but it was an old robe and she was growing fast even for her fourteen years, so it only reached the bottoms of her thighs.? The books were all dog-eared by the uses of their previous owners, and she had barely been able to get them, because all she had was the meager pay she earned at work.
??????????? Turning the corner, she walked for a spell along a wide street.? Several of the Armored Carriers the Enforcers used drove along the street, massive boxes on wheels with hexagonal fronts.? Each had three smoke stacks on its top, two of which sprayed white steam, the other of which belched black smoke in an oily cloud.? Their ridged tires left furrows in the dust that layered the street.
??????????? She licked her lips and walked quickly towards the school building.? She didn?t want any member of the upper caste to see her?that would require her to bow and scrape.? She didn?t have time for bowing and scraping.
??????????? Things were difficult enough as is.
?
?
??????????? I have stolen things I need before.? But those were things I need?food, toiletries, paper for school.? I?ve never done anything worse.? I?ve never whored myself out, or attacked anyone.
??????????? My parents taught me that much, and I?m glad.
??????????? Though if it were necessary, I already know of some people?both men and women?but most of them disgust me.? I may only be the second caste up from the bottom, but I refuse to be a bottom-feeder.
?

??????????? She had arrived just before the bell, and sat in her desk, on a bench in the fifth row from the front, just one before the back.? There was a row of smoked-glass windows on the eastern wall, and a podium at which the teacher stood.
??????????? Her row was made up of both male students and female students, alternating male, then female, then male, though the school didn?t spend enough money to give them chairs, instead they had heavy metal benches, which required the concerted effort of all three students to move.
??????????? Both genders were required to wear the same clothes, black robes, belted at the waist by lengths of cord, and leather shoes with tough soles, designed for walking.? Angel had the longest hair in the class.? It reached nearly to her waist in a black mane, but she tied it in a tail, as all the girls did.? The boys all had their hair cut short.
??????????? ?Silence please,? the teacher demanded, causing what little talking there was to cease.
??????????? He was a balding, middle-aged man in the worker caste, who wore thick glasses and a long coat, with large pockets, so he could carry books with him.
??????????? ?Glory to the Machine,? he said.
??????????? ?Glory to the Machine,? the class responded in unison.? It was how every day from the lowest level of schooling to the highest began.
??????????? ?Today, we are going to start with Politics,? he said, ?so open your books to page fifty.?
?
?
??????????? I?m pretty sure that the Politics that the teachers teach is the real deal, but I?m not sure it?s the right way.
??????????? They divide the population of Nisiyranj into five groups.? The Inner Party of the Machine, The Party of the Machine, The Soldiers, The Workers, and The Polluted Ones.? All their children become members of the caste their parents were?saying that ?like mettle produces like mettle.?
??????????? But I can?t help but wonder if a person can?t rise above his birthright?Isn?t it possible for an honest person to be born from thieves, or a wicked man to be born from members of the Inner Party?
??????????? I just don?t understand, I suppose.
??????????? They say that all the other cities in the Wastelands are Goddites and Thieves.? People who possess less clean mettle than the worst of the Polluted Ones.? I?m not sure I can believe that.? If there is such thing as a person who is right here, can?t there be a person right somewhere else?
??????????? I can?t ask my teacher these questions?I don?t want to be caned.? But they burn inside me?I want to know the truth.
?
?
??????????? The Plant was an interesting setup.? It was constructed out of the burned-out shell of a nobleman?s tower.? At the top was a grate and a vat of molten lead.? At the bottom was a pool of water over a platform that could be raised and lowered.
??????????? To produce musket balls, they would pour the molten lead through the grate, causing it to form droplets that became round as they fell.? When they hit water, they began to cool.? After a period of time, the platform was raised, and gleaners would step onto the platform and collect bucket after bucket of musket balls before the system was reset.
??????????? There was always the danger of still more lead dripping down from the grate and hitting one of the gleaners, but that was a danger the Overseer, a Party Member, was wiling to put his workers in.
??????????? ?It is non-reason to work in a non-quick manner,? the Overseer said, speaking down from the top of the Plant through his megaphone.? It isn?t good to work slowly.
??????????? ?Glory to the Machine!? he called, ?The Quota is an Object of Happiness!?? If we don?t meet our quota, you won?t be paid.
??????????? Angel wore goggles made of smoked glass, and an apron of a heavy, heat-resistant material.? Her feet were covered by heavy boots, and the tail of her hair was stuffed under her cap, so it wouldn?t get in the way.
??????????? She had been chosen for a reason, because she was capable of using E-Arts.? It was necessary, so that Gleaners could resist the head their job forced them to live in.? By weaving shields against the heat with E-Arts, they could survive.
??????????? Standing next to her was a matronly woman dressed in a similar way.? Greta was the closest thing Angel had in the Plant?some said they acted like sisters.
??????????? ?You?d think that old fool would be quiet, instead of squawking all the time through that megaphone,? Greta said, as the hot lead began to pour down from the grate.
??????????? ?It is true, though?no quota, no pay.? No pay, no food,? Angel said, feeling her protruding ribs through her heavy work clothes.
??????????? ?Poor dear,? Greta responded, putting an arm around the younger woman?s shoulder, ?you must be starving?we?ve been just short of quota all week.
??????????? Angel sighed tiredly, and leaned against the other woman.
??????????? ?I just wish things were a little easier,? she said.
??????????? ?Workers!? Collection is an Object of Happiness!?? Get to work, gleaners.
?
?
??????????? I?ve never been burned, myself.? Greta has a long burn down her arm from where some lead splashed her.? It looked painful.
??????????? Once, I saw a man shot because he wasn?t working fast enough.? He was a Polluted One that had been selected to work on the railway project to one of the other cities.
??????????? The Overseer, an Inner Party Member, had his retainer, who was a soldier, bring the man, a Polluted One, before him.
??????????? I can just remember the words.
??????????? ?Glory is the Machine.?
??????????? ?Ever Shining and Glorious is the Eternal and Perfect Machine.?
??????????? ?Working is an extension of the Machine, and through work, people find happiness, as they are becoming agents of the Machine?s glory.?
??????????? ?Working is an end unto itself,? the Soldier translated, ?because work is fulfilling.? You have not been working hard enough.? Why??
??????????? ?I haven?t been able to work fast enough or hard enough because of a terrible burning bite a desert beastie gave me.?
??????????? The Overseer considered this for a moment.
??????????? ?As the farmer separated the chaff from the wheat, so must the Machine.?
??????????? ?It is necessary to purify the race of Nisiyranj,? the soldier said, ?so that Nisiyranj is strong.?
??????????? ?What??
??????????? ?The Non-Reasoning are as beasts of the air and land, to be crushed by the Glory of the Machine.?
??????????? The soldier drew his pistol, as the Polluted One sank to his knees, unbelieving.
??????????? Without ceremony, the Soldier placed the pistol on the man?s forehead, and pulled the trigger.
??????????? That memory always sends shivers down my spine, though Now I understand why.? It was meant as an example to all the others.? That man worked slow, now he is dead.? That man worked fast, he gets a double ration.? That man worked well, he gets a double ration.
??????????? It?s all a mind game being played by the Machine.

BLOODY nice work.

I'm already getting a mental image of the whole factory. I, for one, vote for more. ^_^

I'm intruiged...yes, more of this, please.

ijnteresting, more please. the cogs are turning.

One Day Hence
?
??????????? Today was the third day of the week, time for the first of her two weekly baths.? She would bathe more often, if she had access to anything other than the constantly-dripping murky water in the bathroom of the apartment she slept in.
??????????? It was all the water she got, really.? The bathrooms in three of the vacant apartments leaked water that had little enough salt that it could be drunk?she kept the baths and sinks stopped up so she could harvest it when thirsty.? She kept this one so she could bathe twice a week?it was important to smell and appear clean.? She needed to look like a Worker, not a Polluted One.? Enforcers and Shopkeepers didn?t feel the need to watch Workers constantly, which allowed her to steal what she needed.
??????????? The Machine didn?t care where people lived, whether children had enough to eat, whether they had a family.? It simply cared about efficiency.? About production.
??????????? As Angel scrubbed her skin with the unclean water, she looked around her.? The lights in this apartment didn?t work.? She had to leave a window in the bathroom open so she could see what she was doing.
??????????? She ran her hand across her side?counting the ribs through her too-thin flesh.? They hadn?t made quota again last night, so she had only managed to afford a few crumbs of coarse, salty bread.
??????????? Everything tasted like salt.? The basin Nisiyranj was located in had once been a bay, a part of the great ocean.? The passing of the Old World had seen those Oceans boiled away, more than three thousand years ago.
?
??????????? History has taught me some important things.
??????????? Number One is that you don?t trust history books?according to them, the end of the Old World was caused by the Goddites and ?those of poor mettle? taking control.? They attempted to use ?Foci??E-Arts?and technology for their own selfish aims, and that caused the oceans to boil away.
??????????? The problem with this story is that not all Goddites are superstitious savages and not all Polluted Ones are bad people.? Though I?d be shot if I suggested it.
??????????? I?ve noticed that?The Party uses force when people disagree.? They watch your face, and if you let anything show that they don?t like, you get a visit from the Enforcers, and they eliminate you.
??????????? That?s why I don?t show any expression.? It would be suicide.
?
?
??????????? ?Open your readers to geography, the three hundred twelfth page,? the teacher said.
??????????? The students opened their books.? They had all known what they were going to read, and what page to go to.? The Teacher spoke out of habit, as so many people did.
??????????? ?Nisiyranj is set in a valley that was once part of the Ocean.? The Builders created the city of Nis, later renamed Nisiyranj-Zero in the center of this valley, to create their utopia.?
??????????? The students followed along in their books, reading quickly, as the teacher droned on in the background.
??????????? ?To the north and east is the Plateau that was once the continent Maia.? It is held in the grip of a Goddite empire, and welcomes the Scavenger-beasts and Serpents into their midst, as only true barbarians would.?
??????????? Someone in the back of the room sighed, and the teacher made a note on a pad.? That young man or woman would be caned later.? Angel was proud of her ability to be so passive, when the lesson was boring.
??????????? It was necessary, because she did not wish to be caned again?she would be late for work, and would thus not meet quota.
?
?
??????????? It isn?t really the fear of physical pain which keeps me in line.
??????????? No, quite the contrary.? I can take physical pain?probably better than most boys my age.? What really keeps me going is hunger?I can?t stand the gnawing in my stomach.? I can?t stand being able to count my ribs with a glance in the mirror.
??????????? No one should have to live with this kind of starvation.? I get just enough food to live, but I?m always getting weaker.? I?m never full, I?m not even satisfied.
??????????? I?ve never had a real meal.? Just salt-filled bread and a mouthful of murky water.? It?s never enough.
??????????? And because I get weaker and weaker, I never get enough to eat, so I get weaker.
??????????? It?s enough to make you cry tears of frustration.
?
?
??????????? The walk from school to the Plant was a long one, but she usually had enough time.? Of course, that stretch of city street was the most dangerous to walk?it skirted the area where the Enforcers and Goddites were fighting.
??????????? It was also the area that another kind of predator lived in, one she had to be careful not to get too close to.
??????????? She didn?t know the man?s name, but she knew him by sight.? He was a big man, with crooked teeth and long, ratty hair.? His eyes looked like a jackal?s, or what she imagined a jackal?s looked like.
??????????? At that moment, he was sitting on a low wall, in front of an apartment building, much like the one she slept in.? A lit cigarette was held between his lips, as if on an afterthought.
??????????? In the corner of her eye, she saw a black spot move around a corner.
??????????? ?Hey, there, little girl,? he said, smiling.? The man had a voice like the desert?deep and dry.
??????????? She ignored him, just walking.? She didn?t allow herself to sway, trying to make her gait look awkward and unfeminine.
??????????? ?What?? You?re just going to ignore me?? he asked, standing up.? There was a bulge attached to his belt on his right side.? A pistol.? The man had a pistol.
??????????? She ran, quickly turning a corner and continuing down a parallel street.? It wasn?t until she was within a block of the plant that the footsteps following her stopped.
?
?
??????????? The Jackal is one of the men who would gladly pay, should I sink to prostitution.? His presence sickens me physically.? As does the presence of most of the vagrants.? I wish the Enforcers would just kill them all?it would make life so much more bearable.
??????????? I could at least not be late to work.
??????????? Which reminds me.? Now I?m late for work.
??????????? I won?t meet quota, and I?ll not have any bread to eat tonight.? As I didn?t have any bread to eat at noon and as I didn?t have any bread to eat when I woke up.
??????????? I resent the party members.? They?re bellies are full while I?m hungry.? They don?t have to eat stale, salty bread.? They don?t have to drink water that?s more dust than water.
??????????? It?s sickening.
??????????? They live in the lap of luxury, while I?m little better than a Polluted One and a Vagrant.? There?s no dignity within the cogs of the Machine.
?
?
??????????? ?Tyrell-three-seven-seven.? Seat yourself,? the Overseer gestured to the stool in front of his desk.
??????????? Angel sat, looking down.? Her hair was tied back, and she held her smoked-glass goggles in her hands, which were folded on her lap.
??????????? ?Entering Tasks at non-start is non-reason,? he said.? It is bad to be late for work.
??????????? ?Yes, sir.?
??????????? ?Non-reason is non-joy.? Non-joy is non-satisfaction of the self.?? It doesn?t make sense for you to do something that is bad for you.? How can you live like this?
??????????? ?I manage, sir,? she said.
??????????? ?Reason,? the Overseer responded.? Good.
??????????? She looked up at him.? He was a tall, thin man with pale skin.? His head was wrapped in a turban, and the back of his left hand was branded with the symbol of his caste.
??????????? ?Perhaps your tasks?your Object of Joy is the non-reason-making Object??? Perhaps you should find a new job, that is not so essential.
??????????? ?Please sir, let me stay!?I can?t find any other work.?
??????????? ?It is non-reason to request,? he said.? Don?t ask me to do that.
??????????? ?What will I do for food??
??????????? ?Your object of joy.? My non-object.?? It makes no difference to me.
??????????? ?Please sir?have mercy on me,? she said.
??????????? ?Non-reason.?? I refuse.
??????????? There was a long pause, before the overseer spoke again.
?New tasks will be set before those who possess reason.?? She had trouble understanding what he said, it sounded like he was telling her not to worry, that she would find work soon.
But she didn?t believe that.? She was too weak to find more work.? There was really only one possibility, now.
?
?
??????????? It could have been worse.? I could?ve been shot for being unproductive.
??????????? Actually.? That might have been better.? I could have avoided a slow death by starvation.
??????????? Now I?ve got school, and home.? I don?t have work, I don?t have any bread to eat.? All I have is water.
??????????? Maybe I can catch rats, or steal food.
??????????? That?s probably what I?ll have to do.? I can?t really do anything else.
???????????
?
??????????? Angel sat on the windowsill of one of the upper apartments, looking at the twin moons, Tsuki and Vaela.? The larger, Tsuki was a silver orb, while the pale green edge of the smaller, Vaela, passed behind it.
??????????? She sighed.
??????????? ?Mom?Dad?I know it?s been a long time since I talked to you.? Especially since I don?t know if the two of you are alive or dead.? If you?re dead?I?m probably going to be with the two of you, soon.? I just don?t know how to go on like this.?
??????????? She held her hand up, and spread her fingers, as if attempting to grab Tsuki from the sky.
??????????? ?No one in all the world, not one person on Tateninu?no one will help me.? I?m alone, and?I think that, tomorrow night, I?m going to have to become one of the vagrants and Goddites.?
??????????? She sighed.
??????????? This wasn?t right.
??????????? This wasn?t what she wanted.
??????????? She put her hand back in her lap, looking down at it.? Her wrist was thin?she was too thin.? Deep down, she knew she was dying of hunger, though she was just beginning to feel it.
?
?
??????????? I wake up.
??????????? At least in sleep I have the comfort of oblivion.? Though I had nightmares, the sheets show that I didn?t move in my sleep.? I dreamed last night, about Mom and Dad.
??????????? The Enforcers took them away from me, and left me here.
??????????? As long as what needs to happen happens, the Machine could care less.
??????????? I can?t go back.
??????????? I?m too frightened to go forward, and there are enemies to the sides of me.
??????????? Mother?Father?I wish you were here.? Even if you weren?t perfect little cogs in the machine, you could be forgiven, couldn?t you?
??????????? It?s the damned machine.? People are put in and the cogs grind them up.? All that comes out are moving corpses, not living, not thinking.? They can?t understand simple emotions, they can?t understand pain.? They just throw more people into the machine.
??????????? Everyone?s a part of it.? The Overseer, The Jackal, The Teacher.? Even Greta is a cog in the machine.? They?re all sucking the life out of me.? They?re all sucking the happiness out of me.
??????????? What is happiness?
??????????? I don?t even know anymore?but I do know one way to describe happiness:
??????????? ?Not this, not this??

Nice stuff...looks like our heroine has a long, hard road ahead of her. Keep it coming!

near as i can tel, the board doesnt like indents. is this copied off of a word processor or written in the post box?, if the latteris true, try the former. if not... i don;t know. good stuff, though, keep it coming.

The Day
?
??????????? She walked forward, into the streets, towards school.
??????????? ?Hey there, little girl,? a voice said, as she stepped out of the apartment building.
??????????? The Jackal was waiting for her.? He loomed a head taller than her, and his eyes were glazed, as if by alcohol.
??????????? She felt a hand like a steel vice grab her by the chin, and push her against the wall.
??????????? ?You?re looking good today,? he said, licking his lips.
??????????? She struggled vainly against him, but it was no use.? He was going to take what he could, and probably kill her afterwards.
??????????? She saw a black spot at the edge of her vision again.? It was stationary, but the spot disappeared as her vision tunneled, narrowing.
??????????? Angel knew that it was the time of her death.? The Jackal had won.? The Machine had won.
??????????? She stopped struggling.
??????????? At that moment, the Jackal?s hand convulsed, and he fell.
??????????? There was a hole the size of a silver piece in his side, that blood pumped out of.
??????????? ?Never touch a woman like that,? a voice said, coming from her left.
??????????? There was a young man there, with brown hair and brown eyes.? He was wearing a long coat, and had a gun belt slung low on his hips.? He must have been in his early twenties, and he had the mark of a worker on his right hand, surrounded by a ring of scar tissue.
??????????? He stepped forward and knelt by her.? He was an attractive young man, she noted, as her vision came back.
??????????? ?You alright there?? he asked.
??????????? She coughed, trying to get her voice to work.
??????????? ?I?m?fine??
??????????? ?This happens often?? he asked, checking the ammunition in his pistol.
??????????? ?No.? It?s the first time he?s come to where I live.?
??????????? The young man nodded, then looked up at her.
??????????? ?What?s your name?? he asked, smiling gently.
??????????? ?Tyrell, three-seventy-seven,? she responded.
??????????? ?Right?now what?s your name?? he said, his eyes narrowing.
??????????? ?Angelina.?
??????????? ?Nice to meet you, Angel.? I?m Jake.? Party Member Noland eight-twelve told me where to find you.? I?m going to be your new employer?sort of??
??????????? ?Sort of?? she asked, unsure.
??????????? ?Well?being a Worker like you, this is going to be more like a partnership, and there are some things you?re going to need to do,? he said.
??????????? ?Like what?? she responded, suddenly apprehensive.
??????????? ?Well, for one thing, you aren?t going to go to school any more.? You?re also going to have to come with me, as I work in the desert?and I need to travel light, so??
??????????? She held up her bag.
??????????? ?Everything I own,? she responded.
??????????? ?Good.? We leave now,? he said, helping her to her feet.
??????????? ?What?exactly?will I be doing?? she asked.
??????????? ?Well, you?re an Energeia Artist, correct??
??????????? She stared at him for a moment, her brows furrowing.? She hadn?t heard that term before.
??????????? ?E-artist,? he clarified.
??????????? ?Oh?yes,? she said, quietly.
??????????? ?Well, Angel, I work in the desert, and I have need of an E-artist who can make heat shields.? Noland told me about you, and I said you would be perfect.? A young woman, who is clever, beautiful, and stoic, but also needs a bit of help??
??????????? He dug into his pocket, and pulled out a foil-wrapped object, and handed it to her.? She unwrapped it, and revealed the contents?a sandwich made out of white bread, with thin slices of meat on it.
??????????? She ate slowly, knowing the pains that accompanied eating too quickly after a long period of hunger.
??????????? ?Good?? Jake asked, once she finished.
??????????? ?Yes, Jake,? she responded, folding the foil, and placing it in her bag.? It might be useful, later.
??????????? ?Good.? I?m a Surveyor, and as of now, you?re my apprentice.?
??????????? A Surveyor.? She felt happiness welling up within her.? Surveyors were the most successful workers in the Machine.? They traded with outsiders and Beasts, and were paid handsomely by the Machine.
??????????? Not to mention they truly could leave if they wanted to.
??????????? ?Thank you,? she said to him.
??????????? ?No need to thank me, Angel?now?let?s get some food in you.? It?s a shame that you?ve had to go hungry.? But don?t worry, you?re mine to take care of, and I don?t shirk in my duties.?

(A bit of a Deus ex Machina ending; It was meant to be a prologue, but I never got around to writing what it went with.)

EDIT: Copying from MS word gets rid of formatting, copying from .rtf doesn't...weird.

eh, atleast its fixed. very goot little bit, i look forwards to more, as i'm sure the other do too.

Cam, this is stellar work. I'd definitely recommend that you continue this when you have the time - the possibilities are endless!

indeed. seriously, when it's done, try and get it published.