WARNING! This is most definitely a SPAMFIC! I wrote it because an idea came to me at work, an idea so horrifying that I absolutely HAD to write it down. It's a crossover of Sailor Moon and another series (which shall remain nameless to preserve the joke). It's also very short, not grammar checked, and I wrote it in about half an hour. So don't expect this to be a goddam classic of English literature, 'kay? Oh, and I don't own the rights to these characters either. So go ahead and try to sue me. I know who to call.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
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The Sailor Senshi were in serious trouble.
There was simply no other way to describe the situation. Not a single Senshi remained battle-ready. Pluto, who almost never took part in fighting, was battered and bloody, her uniform torn nearly to ribbons. Saturn was there as well, and leaning heavily on her glaive in order to keep from collapsing. Her power had been exhausted trying to keep the rest of her teammates up and running. Uranus was cradling a broken arm, and standing guard over Neptune, who knelt awkwardly on the ground, one leg bent the wrong way at the knee. The outer Senshi, so long the protectors of the Sol system, stood no chance against this new threat.
The Inner Senshi were even worse off. Mercury was barely conscious, her visor shattered and a gash bleeding sluggishly from her forehead as she stood on wobbly legs. Mars had exhausted her energy reserves, and was barely able to summon a spark of fire. Jupiter was completely unconscious, sprawled on the pavement with bruises covering every inch of exposed flesh. Venus was pinned under a heavy trash dumpster, breathing painfully through cracked ribs.
Neo-Queen Serenity stood beside her King Endymion, the Ginzoshou dull and lifeless. This foe had resisted all attempts at purification, and refused to be destroyed. The situation seemed hopeless.
Across the battle-marked pavement, there stood but one man. Dressed in flowing red robes over high-tech battle-armor, he sneered with contempt at those who faced him. The hard lines and slight graying of his hair only served to intimidate the Senshi more.
"This is the best you can do?" The figure crossed his arms, floating slightly above the surface. Orbs of lighting, water, and fire circled around him, and chunks of rock lifted themselves fromt eh ground to form a throne, in which he sat. "You are even more pitiful than I thought! This planet will soon be a roiling mass of hatred, and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to stop me! This world will fall, just as so many others, to the might of Zarm!"
Endymion cursed, clenching his fist. "If only we had been able to stop him at one of the other planets! I don't have strong enough ties to the Earth to summon the power to stop him here, but we might have won if we were on Saturn, or the Moon!" He looked up to the single satellite of Terra, now eclipsed.
Neo-Queen Serenity sighed, the Ginzoshou falling from her tired grasp. "It must be our fate then, my love. But we have been unable to make contact with Gaea, the soul of our home, and there is nothing else we can do now." She turned to the mighty foe who had destroyed their dreams. "Is there no way to stay your hand, that you could spare this world, mighty Zarm?"
The ancient war-god laughed in her face, and tossed a ball of lightning casually at the pair, sending them scrambling for cover. "No one can stop me!"
"That's where you're wrong, eco-villian!" shouted five voices.
The mighty conqueror paled. "No, it can't be!"
Five teenagers strode into view, each of a distinct ethnicity, and wearing a shirt emblazoned with a globe. Behind them floated a ghostly figure dressed in flowing lavender robes, who smiled gently at the future King of Terra. Endymion gaped, then dropped to his knees, bowing low to this vision.
"Be at peace, my son," the ghost intoned. "I have already chosen my protectors, and they have done well in safeguarding that which was not in your usual concerns."
Gaea, Spirit of Terra, turned to her chosen. "You have faced this one before, and you have won. Now you must do so again."
"With pleasure!" said the redhaired boy with an American accent, and a gold ring with a red gem upon his finger.
"We still remember how you tricked us the last time," intoned the African male, his ring bearing a green stone.
"And we remember who saved the day too!" added an Asian girl. Her gem was a dark blue.
The South American boy with the monkey on his shoulder blushed, and held up his yellow gem. "My friends won't be tricked by you this time."
The blonde girl grinned, and held up her sky-blue gem. "Da, and we will make sure this is the LAST time we must see you!"
As the five young warriors gathered in a circle, Sailor Jupiter stirred, and asked goggily, "What's goin' on? Who're they?"
The five raised their rings to the sky. One by one, they cried out, using their greatest power.
"Earth!" A green beam of light shot into the air.
"Fire!" A gout of flame joined the green light.
"Wind!" A swirling white light.
"Water!" A deep aquamarine light.
"Heart!" A golden light.
There was a flash, and a rumble from the Earth below. A voice filled with power echoed through the battlefield as the ground erupted, spewing forth a shining hero.
"By your powers combined... I AM CAPTAIN PLANET!"
~fin
Author's Note: Yeah, I went there. I feel dirty, but it was worth it to get that horrible monstrosity out of my brain. Now go plant a tree or something. And, if you don't know who today's villian was, go here to learn more:
http://www.turner.com/planet/static/villain.html
Captain Planet: "The power is yours!"