well since no one has posted anything in this section yet i'd like to be the first one to
now mind u ppl, what i'm going to post now is very old work i did waay back when final fantasy 9 came out not long ago and i was still in the hype of FF8...
thus it ain't very well structured, haven't been edited and its not even finished.... but i want to post it to see what u think of my writting style... at the time anyway... so enjoy and if u find it boring or out of place i'm sorry ^^ hope u don't mind Fiss

oh and plz mind the speling mistakes.. like i said haven't edited this


Its been life times since we've met. Where are you?
I've been searching among the stars for you.
My soul urns for our reunion.
I am still searching, through worlds no one remembers or heard.
Finally I find traces of your being...
but the entity that seperates is back.
I will not let it stop me, us.
For we are ment to be, only time is our enemy.
Where are you?
Who are you?

SoulS; An attempted of a Final Fantasy epic.


Carl woke up and yawned in his bed. His black hair is all messed up like a shrub.
"Man... what a rough night," sure enough for some reason he didn't have much sleep last night. And it weren't due to the noise out side.
"Sure is noisy out side. Wonder what day it is?" A moment of silence as he consider his thoughts. His eyes wonder around. He looks at the calender.
"Lets see, yesterdays Tuesday. So today should be Wednesday," He also notice that today was marked with a red circle. Hhhhmmmm Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday, he ponders. He looks at the clock. 9:45 am. He looks back at the calender, back at the clock, then the calender again.
"OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!" Carl jumps out of bed and heads for the bath room. "I'm gonna be late! I'm gonna be late!" He told himself while he tried changing and brushing his teeth at the same time.

A line of students is standing stiff and still in front of a woman, who is tapping her feet and has a frown on her face. Her left eye brow is itching. There in some kind of clearing between a pack of buildings and a lush forest.

Running out of one of the buildings, Carl heads straight towards the group.
"Phew, I made it!"

"Carl Brianstock!" Carl snapped to attention as the woman turned around her long red hair swaying back. She was breath taking. Too bad she's engaged, Carl sighed.

"And what are you sighing at? Mr Brainstock?"

"N...N...Nothing Ma'am!" Carl saluted.

"I have a name and a status you know. Use it cadet Brianstock!"

"Yes Ma'... I mean Instructer Ikari! NO... I mean ... I mean," Carl stiffend as the instructor walked towards with menacing eyes. The other students looked the other way.

"How many times have i told you people. Never, never call me Instructer Ikari!"

"I'm sorry! Its only a joke!(a well known joke that lasted for 5 years) Intructer Sohryu!"

"Know, have you ever heard of what happens to people when they call me Instructer Ikari?"

Carl gulped, "N.. no n.... not r... really," Carl just wanted to forget the rumors around the Acadamey about Instructer Ika... er... Instructer Sohryu Auska Langely being called 'Ikari', involving a few people on crutch's, embedded in walls, stuck on ceilings, being thrown through one building from another, and being hanged upside down on the flag pole naked! Carl also heard she'd 'blowed' or 'fingered' some one to near death. Carl really, really didn't want to think about it.

"Oh i'm sure you've heard," She put her sleeves up. Carl gulped again. I'm doomed.

"But..." But? The other 12 students thought at once. Instructor Sohryu always punished peope that call her Ikari, even by accident.

"But..?" Carl mutted.

"But... I'm in a good mood today. Consider your self lucky today. Plus, if not for your peers insisting to wait on you, you would have missed the test." She walked away. Carl released his breath as he looked towards the other students.

"Thanks for waiting on," Carl saluted, "I'm flattered and this won't happen again"

One of the students turned and aluted Carl. "No need to apologize. We know your always late. So we decided to wait. Starting the test half an hour late is no big deal"

"YEAH!" roared the other students. Carl rubbed his neck.

"Ah... sorry and thanks."

"Stop apologizing and listen up! We're already late, lets not waste any more time!" Every one stood to attention.

"You should all know by now. But just incase some of you are slowpoks," Instructer Sohryu glared at Carl who sweated nervously, "I'll explain why all of you are here, least you forget." The students groaned. "SILENCE!" And every one zipped their mouths shut. "Good. Now you are here to participate in a test. A test that will make each and one of you SeeD candidates!" Every one looked at one another. "Yes! As SeeD's you'll be honored by your achievements and status!" She went on.

"Um... Instructor?" A student dared.

"We will be honored! Yes! And when the time comes we'll beat Squall Leonheart into killing Ultimisia and we'll be honoured as hero's of the world! Wahahahahaha!"

"INTSRUCTER!" The student before tried again.

"Hahahaha...a? ah... yes cadet Wong?" It was the student who spoke to Carl before, Charlie Wong, a best friend of Carl's who is standing next to him. Instructor Sohryu couldn't help but feel intimidated by the intense stare coming from the best student she'd seen in her whole career of teaching in the Academy. Which was exactly 5 years after she graduated.

"Tell me have you been playing Final Fantasy VIII again?" She looked at him blankly.

"How'd you know?"

"Tell me how I don't know?" Auska pondered on his words. Then blushed intensly.

"Oh... um sorry about that students i got carried away again." The students sighed.

"Stuck on getting Doom Train agian?" Charlie asked, straight faced.

"Um... yeah...how'd you know" God this kids reading my mind! Charlie's darkened his mood and his eyebrow started to twich. That made Auska take a step back. "...um... Cadet Wong?"

"I'm stuck as well."

"Wha..."

Stomping his feet and yelling "GOD DAMNIT! HOW HARD IS IT JUST TO GET STEEL PIPES? AND THOSE GOD FOR SAKEN ADAM..." and he was brought back down to the planet by a punch from his best friend next to him.

"Sorry Instructor. Please continue," Carl advised. Auska and the other students sweatdroped as Charlie was sprawled all over the ground.

"I... 'm liste....n....ing" He could just manage.

Auska coughed. "Ok! As i was saying, this is a test so you could become TAM's (The Academy's Mercenaries). This test is a test of your surviving and tracking skill. The area of your test is the Cenato Forest infront of you." Every one (bare Charlie who is still flat on the ground) looked at the monster invested Forest of Centao. "Monsters lurk in every corner of the forest, and if your not careful you'll either be eaten or get lost in there."

The students gulped.

"Each and one of you will be given a map. On the map will be marked the places where each of you will find a storing ball. Your mission is to defeat the person guarding over the storing balls. They are very strong so be careful when your fighting them.

"Oh and one more thing! As you should all know you can still 'store' magic from monsters with out a storing ball, as long as you have a weapon in hand. Any questions?" No one raised their hand.

"Ok then! Remember you can all go in there in groups but the final battle is always solo! I wish you all the best of luck" Auska saluted. The candidates saluted back, and they where off before Auska could talk any more.

"Hey man!" Carl hunched over Charlie. "You ok?" Charlie replied with a mumble. "Hey come on i didn't hit you that hard!" Mumble "Just because your a sorcerer doesn't mean you can't take a hit." Mumble again. "Okay! Your a warlock whats the difference? Are you gonna get up or what?" Charlie really likes mumbling. "Umm... i know i shouldn't have hit you on the head. But some one had to stop you or you'll just keep on talking about that damn freaken game. Besides..."

"Hey you two! You don't have much time so get you weapons and move out!" Screamed Instructer Sohryu.

"Yes Instructor!" And Carl dragged Charlie away by the leg like a jet.
Auska is now all alone in the quad and was about to leave when she remembered something.

"I think i frogot to tell them that they have 12 hours to finish the test." She shrugged. "Oh well, all the informations on the map." And she walked back towards the main body of buildings of the Academy. "Hope Shinji's free at the moment. God its so HOT in summer," Auska smiled evilly and hummed while she walked.

Some where in the Academy, Shinji Ikari sneezed while teaching his class of cello students.

"Do you really think we could finish this test in 12 hours?" Carl looked at Charlie while cleaning his katana of some strange green blood.

"I don't know about the rest of them, but i'm sure you and I can," Carl started to jumble some magic stored in his katana. "Have any idea what kind of people is gonna test us?" Carl asked.

Charlie started to do the same, jumble some magic in his staff. "I've heard there the best graduate's in the Academy."

"Even if their the best you've got nothing to worry about! Your the best sorcerer this Academy ever had! You can manage" They started to walk again, alert and ready for any monsters that dared cross their path with some threat.

"I still like being called a warlock."

"How old fashion are you? As the dictionary says its an old term!"

"Old term or not i'm still worried," They came to a stream. Both of them decided to take a rest.

"Hey come on! You can stock a lot more magic in your staff then i can with my katana right? How much did you store from those monsters any way?"

"Hhhmmm... 30 fire's, 19 water, 7 thunder's, 10 heals, 20 luck, 30 ice, 50 sleep, and 5 haste."

"Wow, no wonder it took you so long to take a move!"

"I'm a warlock. I'm not good at physical attacks you know."

"The terms sorcerer," Carl stated.

"Whateva! How much magic did you store then?"

"10 fire's, 10 water's, 10 ice, 10 thunders, 10 heals."

"In my opinion you didn't store enough." Charlie took a sip of water from the stream.

"Hey i would if i could store more! I only can store 5 magics on this thing you know! And you! You can store at least 12 man!" Carl took a sip of water and washed his face.

"May be you should find a Gardian Amulet?" Charlie suggested as he stared up at the sky.

Carl snorted. "Easier said then done. You know how hard it is just to find a Gardian? The only person i know that has one is Instructor Sohryu. They don't just fall down from the sky you know!"

Suddenly every thing is quiet. Dead quiet. They couldn't hear any animals, or bird songs, and the flowing stream seemed to have slowed down its pace.

"Say don't you think its a LITTLE quiet?" Asked Carl. The fact that they can't sense any monsters is a real worry.

"A little too quiet for my liking," They feel a cold breeze up their spine. Without saying a word they quickly got up and tried to get away from the place as fast as they could.

As they got up, a loud roar errupted from some where, making the birds fly away in their hiding places. In the thick forest infront of them, a huge figure jumped out into the stream. The boys readied them selves for battle as the splash of water blocked their view.

No matter how prepared they were, they wouldn't have been able to block or miss the attack. As the tide water that hid their enemy concentrated to a ball of water, which blasted out towards them. They weren't hurt, but just a little bit further away from the stream. Not to mention a little wet here and there. And of cause there's always the PAIN of an unexpected attack.
Standing back up, Carl and Charlie had the chance to look at their attacker. It was, more or less, not quite what they expected. It was a four legged beast. A HUGE four legged beast, with strange sea blue hair from its head, moving or swaying like water. It also had a pair of strange antlers. It seams that the beast is angry, by the look of its eyes, growling mouth showing fangs, and its tale wiping away at the back.

"WHO DARES AWAKEN LYSANDRA FROM A THOUNSAND YEAR SLEEP?" A voice boomed.

Carl and Charlie, was more or less, surprised and confused.

"Did... it just talk?" Carl asked. Charlie just stared on.

"SO. YOU WANT TO FIGHT?" The beast crept closer towards them.

"Um... Charlie?" And he is still staring with his eyes wide open.

"I HAVEN'T BATTLED FOR A THOUSAND YEARS. THIS WOULD BE GOOD PRACTICE." The beast got out of the stream and advanced on the two.

"Hey! Who said who wanted to fight?" Carl waved his katana around. Charlie stood at his place like a stump.

"THEN WHY DO YOU HAVE WEAPONS IN YOUR HANDS?"
Damn he has a point! Carl thought. The beast was most deffinetly coming closer. "CHARLIE!"

"Say Lysandra," Charlie finally said something.

"YES?" It stopped it advancing. Quite taken aback by the calm voice from
Charlie. Even Carl didn't expect it.

"Do you snore when you sleep?" Yep didn't expect it. Carl produced a sweat drop and fell to the ground. Lysandra did the same minus the falling to the ground part.

"What kind of a FRIGGIN question was that?" Carl yelled at his friend.

"Well, if it DID snore when it was asleep for the past thousand years. It explains the strange howling that comes from this place. Day and night! I mean do you how annoying it is at night when your sound a sleep in the middle of the night to be waken up by this damn howling sound! I don't know about you but..."

"Um... Charlie!"

"... no one could any... ah yes Carl?" Charlie followed Carl's thing to look at a very angry Lysandra, with its hind legs and front legs low, and his head was noticbly shaking.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT LYSANDRA!" Water from every corner came and
gathered in to a ball infront of Lysandra.

"Now you've don it!" Carl stood up and got ready, katana raised at his side.

"Hey at least i solved a mystery!" Charlie got ready as well, his staff right infront of him.

"WoW the mystery of the howling forest! Seriously...."

"SILENCE! AND NOW PREPARE TO TAKE MY WARTH! HYDRO BLAST!" And the ball of water shot towards the two young boys.

[scratches head] Is this a crossover? 'Cause I'm a little confused. (I'm sure it doesn't help that I never played FF8.)

The writing style itself is fair. You've got a good sense of humor. Scene transitions could use some work. It reads very much like a script, but it's not in the right format for that. As a rought draft, I can forgive the occasional error in spelling and grammar. Heck, nobody's perfect, not even me.

I think you could stand to pay more attention to description. Aside from a couple random paragraphs, there's very little detail about the characters or the world around them. It's the little things that are important when it comes to immersion into the story's world.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself: What is the Academy like? How does the every day life of the students differ or conform to the reader's life? What can you reveal about Carl's personality through actions and objects? How does he feel about his classmates and instructors? What are his thoughts, preferences, and goals?

i agree. i dont feel like reading all that just now, but i must stress that descriptions are crucial, even (if not especially) in fanfiction. its the difference between writing for a few people and writing for everyone.

What you should do is a crossover.

Sailor Moon and a FF.. could be intresting. Summon a sailor scout?? hahah

well to be fare this was just sitting in my harddrive for 3-4 years waiting to be finished... and i actually got a discription of the Academy written up some where

but still thnx for the reply's... i'll keep the pointer in mind when i start writting again...

oh and spike i don't think u should read it... by the looks of it u'll think its rubbish LOL