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 Endtimes Overture submitted for CC and review 
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Chibi-Czar

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:58 pm
Posts: 220
Location: Dallas Texas USA
Post Endtimes Overture submitted for CC and review
mellow greetings to all!

last year, me and some friends of mine spent a hell of a lot of time playing Mage: the ascension- an RPG by White Wolf game studio. after much prompting, I'm turning our game into a sort of novel ('sort of' becasue I have no idea how long this damn thing is gonna be) I've got the thing mapped out to the last page in outline, and I just finished the first 4 chapters. I'm posing the link to the prologue here for review and CC

things I'd like to know include mainly: how does this read to a person who's never played the World of Darkness Games, as well as how it reads to those who are familiar with the WoD.

heres the link to chapter 00 http://www.chainlightningstudios.com/rpg/ww/EO00.html

to set y'all up, the prologue is the mystical awakening of one of the key protagonists- David Warden.

thanks in advance, and enjoy ^_^

(PS: i'll try to start posting the rest of chapter one in the next couple of months- but dont expect any sort of regular release scedual)

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Chain Lightning Studios


Last edited by Hotwire on Tue Oct 05, 2004 3:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fri Sep 17, 2004 7:02 pm
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Knight
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Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 7:44 pm
Posts: 93
Location: Elsewhere
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It really reads pretty well, and I guess I'm speaking from a bit of a middle ground here (I played a WoD game, but it was a mix of Werewolf and Vampire; I've read the M:tA gamebook). You explain enough so that someone who isn't intimately familiar with the setting can figure out what's going on, and for the people who do, you've thrown in more subtle references that keep us/them entertained.

But now I want to read more instead of doing my homework. :D

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Sat Sep 18, 2004 10:40 am
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Doom Lobster

Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 10:41 pm
Posts: 130
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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Well, I've never gotten to play a Mage game, as they all died on the vine, but I've made preparations for three seperate ones, twice as a player, once as an ST, and I have read the texts extensively.

As far as it goes, this is pretty good, though I notice that you're preferring the Nephandi over the Technocrats or Marauders as enemies. Personally, I think that it'd be a shame not to use those, but you're the author, and it's only the prologue, so I'll have to just wait and see.

Moreover, the idea of an Akashik Brother that is incapable of using mind, but is skilled in the use of entropy is interesting--especially because of the rivalry between the Akashiks (Mind) and the Euthanatos (Entropy)--are you going to use that, later on?

Anyway, I'll be watching for more, and will probably post more comments as I read more of the story.

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Mon Sep 27, 2004 4:09 pm
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Chibi-Czar

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:58 pm
Posts: 220
Location: Dallas Texas USA
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funny thing is that while the tecnocracy does play a significant role, and the nephandi do provide antagonists through the tale, the main foe of the story will be the end of the world. we ran the game this tale comes from through time of judgement, and ascension, and ended up with... well whatever this thing turns out to be.

just a caveat: this is crossover teritory. we used a few werewolf and vampire characters from some of our older games as NPCs and they do feature into this story as principle characters. there will be an authors notes posted with each chapter, giving some background on some of the stuff that wouldnt fit into the story, but got refrenced anyway (I'm using other peoples characters here, and they demanded some in-jokes as the price for using them :P )

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Chain Lightning Studios


Tue Sep 28, 2004 3:37 pm
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Chibi-Czar

Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 12:58 pm
Posts: 220
Location: Dallas Texas USA
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yo! in an uncaracteristic display of promptness- I've gotten chapter 01 ready for CC. hit me with your gripes, complaints and comments- please?

http://www.chainlightningstudios.com/rpg/ww/EO01.html

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Hotwire
Chain Lightning Studios


Mon Oct 04, 2004 9:42 pm
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Chibi-Czar
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Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2004 12:47 am
Posts: 624
Location: Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
Post 
Interesting thing with the werewolves.

But when I saw the term Garou, the first word that came to my mind was Saitoh.

(If anyone doesn't know, in Japanese, Garou means "Hungry Wolf". Kenshin calls Saitoh that alot.)

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Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:25 am
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